{"product_id":"life-cocktail-napkins","title":"Life Cocktail Napkins","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhen life hands you lemons... just roll your eyes and pour a drink. These hilariously honest cocktail napkins feature a fabulously fed-up housewife and the dry-as-a-martini truth:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“My life just informed me I didn’t make the team.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for those days when you're over it before noon and need a cocktail by five, these napkins are wrapped in a retro orange pattern and seasoned with sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMidweek meltdowns and weekend wine downs\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGifting your fellow life dropouts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAdding humor to any gathering, planned or otherwise\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause not everyone’s cut out for the team—and that’s what happy hour is for. 🍸🙃🏆\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eDetails\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e20 napkins per package\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e3 ply\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with non-toxic, water soluble dyes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDimensions: 5\" x 5\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOrigin: Germany\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eShipping \u0026amp; Returns\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"ul1\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li4\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eP\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003erocessing Time\u003c\/b\u003e: Orders ship within \u003cb\u003e1 to 3 business days\u003c\/b\u003e (excluding weekends and holidays). Delays due to high order volume or carrier issues will be communicated via email. A shipping confirmation email with tracking details is sent once the order ships.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li7\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDomestic Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e:\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"ul2\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li4\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eShipping rates are \u003cb\u003ecalculated at checkout\u003c\/b\u003e or a \u003cb\u003e$6.99 flat rate\u003c\/b\u003e applies for most U.S. orders, excluding \u003cb\u003eAlaska, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, U.S. territories, and APO\/FPO addresses\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li4\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eExclusions\u003c\/b\u003e: Heavy, oversized, hazardous materials, or special handling items may have different rates.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li4\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eIn-Store Pickup\u003c\/b\u003e: Free local pickup is available at \u003cb\u003e27 Beach Street, Ogunquit, Maine\u003c\/b\u003e, ready within \u003cb\u003e1 to 3 business days\u003c\/b\u003e. An email notification will be sent when the order is ready.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li7\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eInternational Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e:\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"ul2\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li4\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eShips to \u003cb\u003eCanada and the United Kingdom\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li4\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eShipping rates calculated at checkout.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li4\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eImport duties and taxes (including VAT) \u003cb\u003eare the customer’s responsibility\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li4\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eOrder Tracking\u003c\/b\u003e: A tracking number is provided via email. Tracking updates may take \u003cb\u003e48 hours\u003c\/b\u003e. If an order isn’t received within \u003cb\u003e7 days\u003c\/b\u003e of shipping confirmation, customers should contact us at spoilme@spoiledrottenogt.com.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li4\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePO Box Shipping\u003c\/b\u003e: Only available through \u003cb\u003eUSPS\u003c\/b\u003e (UPS \u0026amp; FedEx do not deliver to PO boxes).\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li7\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eReturns \u0026amp; Refunds\u003c\/b\u003e:\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"ul2\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li4\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eReturns accepted within 30 days\u003c\/b\u003e of delivery for unused items in original condition. Refunds exclude return shipping costs.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"li4\"\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDamaged items\u003c\/b\u003e: Customers should email support with their order number and a photo of the item’s condition for resolution.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p7\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eFor further assistance, contact \u003cb\u003espoilme@spoiledrottenogt.com\u003c\/b\u003e or \u003cb\u003e(207) 641-8477\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Biely \u0026 Shoaf, Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67622313164845,"sku":"oqz1791358306297","price":5.45,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0682\/3654\/1997\/files\/life-cocktail-napkins_1.webp?v=1791358334","url":"https:\/\/www.marketandmuse.shop\/products\/life-cocktail-napkins","provider":"My Store","version":"1.0","type":"link"}